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The Plus Womens Challenge of Overcoming a Distorted Body Image

When Will You Start Accepting Yourself?
I, Diane Williams, personal trainer in NYC, former fashion model for the internationally acclaimed modeling agency Wilhelmina, leader and fitness advocate for plus size women also has this plus womens challenge.

Many of us have this challenge. This distorted view of how our body looks. We have a skewed vision of our physical body.

What you think your body should be, could be, and is are a small part of what makes up who YOU are but you spend most of your time attaining and dreaming and worrying and hoping how it should be because irrationally somehow YOU can then finally be WORTHY to the World and to yourself.

If you look to TV, the media, or any form of advertising for validation chances are you’re not going to find it.

The standard scenario is that if you look to TV, media, and advertising you’ll see images of dishonor, disrespect, and down-right loathing of who you are.

At the least, you’re going to view unrealistic images of women.

It’s a given.

Unfortunately, some women feel that, in order to be accepted, they need to have unrealistic weight goals and an ideal body.

It is no wonder why I pig-out at 10 at night alone at home talking to one of my girlfriends who is doing the same on the other end of the receiver.

It is no wonder why health issues like obesity pop up in developed countries.

We are told that thinner is better and we might be tempted to take it to the extreme and then our bodies and minds will retaliate damaging our physiology and state-of-mind.

Listen to me
I don’t believe and never will believe that the “fat” are lazy and are less worthy than those who aren’t “fat”.

It’s far more complex than what is on the surface.

But still the surface is only examined, studied, and seen by the self-professed experts who have never walked in the shoes of plus womens lives. He lectures, prescribes, and advises surgery for her.

Without a sound method for solution the goal is still not attained by the majority of women.

Maybe you may ask yourself, “Are my weight goals unrealistic?”

The Answer to an Unrealistic Body Image

The answer is to accept ourselves for who we are.

I realize it is usually a long and not so easy process but when we learn to love ourselves just as we are, we open up to accept love from others.

Fortunately the plus womens community is growing exponentially and re-defining beauty giving women that are out of the boundaries of the single dress size digits a feeling of acceptance and honor.

Others who love to be around you will stay longer and this is powerful in re-creating your world.

In order to do this you need to change the way you think.

There are certain pieces of advice you can use in order to change your previous patterns of thinking.

Here are some tips for the plus womens challenge of overcoming a distorted body image:

Truly Understanding Imperfection – Not really sure how we started to think that perfection could be attained. Perfection doesn’t belong to us humans. Our beauty is in our imperfections. Everyone is “imperfect”. If you wait until you’re perfect to enjoy your life you’ll never get the chance to enjoy it because PERFECTION DOES NOT EXIST.

Fashion models in fashion magazines are also imperfect. We sometimes forget that. Images are touched up and women are made to look thinner, without blemishes.

What we strive to be from what we see in media is illogical because everything that we see is controlled; from lighting to makeup, to the words in the script.

Don’t Talk About It – One of the important steps toward having a better body image is to talk less about the things you find imperfect. And not being around those who will attend the “Plus Womens Pity Party” helps support you better body image plan.

When you get together with your friends try not to say things like: “I hate my stomach.” or “Look at this. This is nasty!”

This piece of advice also works for your internal dialog. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative things about yourself, stop!

Focus on the Good – Spend less time worrying about the things you don’t like, and spend more time focusing on what you do like about your body. Your curvy body is an amazing thing.

It can create life and nourish children. It should be loved, honored, respected, and appreciated – especially by you!

Set Attainable Goals – Of course there are certain imperfections that you can do something about. If this is the case, it’s important to set realistic and attainable goals.

If you’d like to lose some fat and/or reshape your body, set a goal that’s challenging yet realistic and attainable.

Don’t overdo it!

Know When to Get Help – Sometimes body image issues will go above and beyond the average problem and manifest itself as a Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

If you think you’re imperfect at all times, and you refuse to go out in public unless you have a great deal of time to spend on your appearance, you may have a problem.

It can help to speak with a counselor about your thoughts and feelings.

Many of us aren’t going to be 100% happy with themselves at all times, and that’s okay.

After all, it’s natural to question yourself from time to time.

However, you have to learn to love yourself the way you are. This should be on the top of the plus womens priority list. Getting too caught up with your body image can make you miss out on the joys in your life which means many will miss out on your Curvy Goddess presence.

Until next time Curvy Goddess…Stay Strong and Stunning!

12 Responses to The Plus Womens Challenge of Overcoming a Distorted Body Image

  1. A very interesting article and something I’d like to share with my readers as well. I am instantly a fan and subscribing this instant! Well, after I submit this comment I will subscribe. LOL 🙂

    PS: The points you make above should work well for us bigger guys as well. I think sometimes we, too, feel the pressure to be thinner or overly muscular. It’s important to love you just for who you are and your body will reciprocate.
    Michael Stagg | The Voluptua Project recently posted..Love & TrustMy Profile

    • Thank you Michael for stopping by and taking a look AND for instantly being a fan! Curvy Goddess Lounge is a manifestation of the passion and purpose that exists in me. CGL is a platform for expression. I have alot to say, teach, and emote in and for this community.

  2. This is great advice for women (and men!) of all sizes!
    In our media-driven culture, women & girls, boys & men are constantly comparing ourselves to unrealistic ideals (models, stars, advertisers) that tell us over & over that we are not good enough. We are!
    elizabeth recently posted..6 Ways to Stop Hating Your –My Profile

  3. Yes,bravoooooo! This is awesome, do you know how many women this is going to help/heal? The site looks great….so so proud of you Diane…..thank you, thank you for putting into words how we all feel

  4. great article, but so much easier said than done. I think this is one of those things that come with age, experience and self awareness. I’m not 100% there, but I am getting there.

  5. Hello, I enjoyed the visit to Curvy Goddess Lounge. I have been overweight all of my life, but I have found the way to keep a good attitude and self-confidence. I have been in Martial Arts since I was 18 years old. I got tired of being afraid, picked on, and hoping to sit in the back row. I am now a Black Belt and I am writing a book to help plus-size ladies do something they never thought they could do!!
    Walk with confidence and be unafraid of expressing themselves.
    Debbie W.

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